Mom Etiquette – 10 Things Every Mother Should Know

Mom Etiquette - 10 Things Every Mother Should Know

“They (other moms) should know better than that,” or “isn’t that a little rude?” or “I can’t believe they think that’s okay,” I often think. Perhaps since I’m older, I was raised in a time when certain social graces were expected of everyone. But nowadays, many mothers act in ways that I don’t necessarily approve of. Here are five strategies to handle your child’s social contacts with tact:

Party etiquette:

If your child is invited to a child’s birthday party, your child is expected to return the favor (especially if your child attends the party). You should invite them if they invite you. Yes, I understand that some parents must keep gatherings small due to financial constraints, but if that is the case, throw a party in your backyard or basement. Children simply want to run about and have a good time.

As soon as possible, respond to party invitations. Don’t show up without an RSVP; if you’re unsure whether or not you’ll be able to attend, let them know as soon as possible. The parents throwing the party are unsure how many party bags to provide, for example. Come if you RSVP to say you’ll be there! If an emergency happens, phone the other parent as soon as possible to inform them. Furthermore, just because your child has been invited to a party does not mean that all of their siblings will be there. The youngster whose name appears on the envelope is the recipient of the invitation. If the invitation is sent to the parent’s email, be sure to specify which child or children should attend.

Don’t forget to bring something to a birthday party for your child. It is customary to give a gift (unless donations to a charitable organization are requested instead). There are many items under $5 that children will enjoy. As a last resort, look around the $1 shop.

Play date etiquette:

Play dates should be reciprocated as well. If you are unable to arrange a play date at your home, visit a park.

If another mother approaches you about a play date, respond as soon as possible. Don’t leave them guessing whether the answer is yes or no. Tell them if you don’t know your schedule.

If you have a young child, always offer to stay for the play date, especially if your youngster suffers from separation anxiety or is known to be a “handful.”

Playground etiquette:

While at the playground, younger children should be accompanied by a parent or sitter. If your child requires assistance with the equipment, it should be provided by the parent or sitter, not by the other moms or fathers. I’ve seen some parents and nannies let their children run around on the playground while they sit and speak on their phones, completely oblivious to what is going on. A little child sat with us for 15 minutes at an indoor mall playground (I gave him a snack because he asked for one), and the nanny was nowhere to be located. I had no idea who the boy belonged to until a young girl, who appeared to be embarrassed, came to take him. If she had been there, she would have seen him with us (I imagine she had some shopping to do – ahem!) because this was a small enough playground.

Don’t gossip about other children to other moms.

No matter who it is about, gossip is always wrong. If you have a serious problem with one of your children, speak with their mother immediately. Nobody other needs to be aware of the situation or hear about it.

Don’t tell other moms how to raise their kids.

If you have a concern with another child that has to be brought to their mother’s attention, do it with tact. Leave out the section about how you would manage it or what you do with your child because what works for one child may not work for another. Avoid lecturing other mothers on how you enforce laws, how you make them eat their meals, and so forth. The vast majority of mothers in the world do an excellent job of raising their children. Don’t get involved unless you’re sincerely concerned about a child’s well-being.

Don’t comment on another child’s physical appearance.

Isn’t this common sense? Some people, it appears, do not believe this. Refrain from making comments about how tall or small another child is, how overweight or thin a child is, and so on. If a child is unusually huge or little, it’s likely that the mother and/or child are both sensitive to it. Your remarks merely state the obvious, causing embarrassment or damaged sentiments. Keep your thoughts to yourself!

Don’t discipline other children.

Not okay; try to locate their mother and talk to her about it. If you can’t find the other mother, approach the child gently and say, “Honey, my son/daughter doesn’t like it when you push; could you please be a bit gentler with them?” or “My youngster just received that bike for Christmas and isn’t ready to let anyone else ride it yet.” “THAT’S NOT YOUR BIKE, GET OFF!” yelled the mother of the bike owner. I was in a park when one child started riding another child’s bike. Another time, I overheard a mother tell a child (not hers) that “you need to learn how to share,” and the child’s mother was standing there, raising her eyebrows in response. I understand that there are instances when you wish a child’s mother would do something, but that doesn’t give you the authority to do it for them.

Don’t discipline your own child in front of other kids (or parents).

Yes, there are instances when you need to urge your child to stop doing something, but draw them away and tell them in hushed tones whenever feasible. Publicly scolding or reprimanding your child may give other children “permission” to do the same. Other kids may gang up on your child, or other parents may label your child as a troublemaker as a result of this. For less pressing concerns, another alternative is to bring it up and discuss it while you are alone at home. Similarly, do not inform others that your child has been grounded or is “in trouble.” If you’re using grounding as a discipline, simply inform people that your child won’t be able to attend that day.

Don’t Brag. Period.

If someone inquires about one of your child’s achievements, respond truthfully and without embellishment. I understand that parents (and grandparents) believe they have earned bragging rights, but it irritates me and makes other parents and children feel inferior. One of the reasons why other kids may not want to hang out with yours is because of this. Your child’s achievements will speak for themselves. Teach your youngster not to brag; if they don’t continuously sing their own praise, they will be more valued.

On the same vein, don’t brag to other parents about all of your child’s parties, play dates, or exciting activities. Teach your youngster not to talk to other kids about play dates or parties. It causes wounded feelings if the child they’re chatting to isn’t invited; no one loves to be left out. This is not only harmful to the child, but it is also harmful to the mother.

They may refuse the money, but you should always offer.

Send your child with enough money to cover entry and possibly a snack if they go to the movies, the pool, or any other place where there is a charge for admittance (even if they are invited by another child). If it’s not a party, don’t expect the other parent to foot the bill. You should always offer money, even if they deny it.

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ContentsParty etiquette:Play date etiquette:Playground etiquette:Don’t gossip about other children to other moms.Don’t tell other moms how to raise their kids.Don’t comment on another child’s physical appearance.Don’t discipline other children.Don’t discipline your own child in front of other kids (or parents).Don’t Brag. Period.They may refuse the money, but you should always offer. “They (other moms) should…

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